Erasing the Limiting Beliefs of the Self-Sufficiency Identity
Have you ever gotten any of these accolades? 👇
🏆 “She can really roll up her sleeves, get her hands dirty, and get the job done!”
🏆 “He’s a one-man wrecking crew.”
🏆 “No matter what task I throw at them, they just figure it out.”
Growing up at work, many of us developed a personal brand that involved some element of self-sufficiency. Without much instruction or extra help from others we became the ones who could turn the work around quickly by doing the work ourselves, late into the night if need be, without complaint and without bothering anyone else about it.
And it worked. It worked great. We ran up a steep learning curve. We got good reviews. And this attitude and ability to deliver led to more responsibilities, promotions, and a seat at the management table. This virtuous cycle reinforced itself over time and became a series of self-beliefs.
👍 “I don’t mind getting my hands dirty and doing the nitty gritty work myself.”
👍 “I’m self-sufficient at work. I don’t need an army to help me do my job.”
👍 “I’ll run through walls to get the job done.”
What’s happening here? A tactic that works great for us when we are just starting out ends up forming a self-belief that serves us well – when we are just starting out. It serves us less well as leaders for whom self-sufficiency is no longer as desirable a quality.
👎 “If something is going to get done right around here, I need to be the one to do it.”
👎 “The timing of this request is unreasonable, so I’ll do it myself instead of bothering others on the team.”
👎 “I don’t think I can lead that project because it’s complex and I don’t have the expertise in all the different areas.”
The personal brand of self-sufficiency has warped into limiting beliefs that inhibit our leadership. Instead of delegating, developing others, and drawing strength and wisdom from the broader team, we create bottlenecks where all work flows through us. We stifle future leaders who should be learning to deal with these challenges. And we miss opportunities to trust ourselves to take on new responsibilities outside of our core technical expertise. Many of us burn out.
❓ What to do?
For those of us who have built and enjoyed a positive brand of self-sufficiency, the leadership quality to shift into is resourcefulness. Resourceful leaders get the job done, and they do it by identifying and developing resources around them to call upon when needed. Sometimes the behavior is delegation, sometimes it requires knowing our team and their skills and interests, other times it simply means asking for help – from our peers, other resources at work, from a mentor or a coach.
If you want to shift your leadership qualities, connect with me at john@aconnectedcoach.com.